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The Pastor's Wife and Her Role in Ministry

By Jana Jones

Enrichment Journal, winter 2001

The Assemblies of God has many gifted pastors and leaders. As we step into the new millennium, the church is beginning to tap into one of the greatest resources it has ever seen—a greater awareness of the role of the pastor's wife. But there are some questions that need to be asked concerning her role in ministry:
What is my role as a pastor's wife?
Where do I fit in?
How do I balance raising a family with using my ministry gifts?
What about my marriage?

THE HEART OF THE PASTOR'S WIFE

Our Dreams

The Word of God says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind. God is looking for righteous women who will serve in His kingdom. It is easier to watch your husband do all the dreaming, motivating, and training in the church. But when was the last time you awakened in the middle of the night and thought about your dreams for God? When did you become so burdened for that hurting lady in your church that you called her on the phone? Or when did you write a note of encouragement to a person struggling with thoughts of suicide? If you don't find your purpose and define your calling, you will miss some of the greatest blessings that will ever come into your life.

There is a role for you in ministry. It can be challenging to find where that is. If you will walk in the giftings God has given to you, He will open a door of ministry and help you move into that special place He has designed for you.

Your role may be different from your last place of ministry, but if God has called your husband to a new place of ministry, He has also called you. Find your new role and fulfill it to the best of your ability. Someone once said, "The only person who likes change is a wet baby." If we will recognize that change is not always easy, it will help us find peace during times of change.

Our Attitudes

Our attitude about ministry will determine the destiny of those who observe us. If we complain about everything, others will pick up on what we say and shy away from serving the Lord. The Bible says, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?" (Matthew 5:13, NIV). Salt does many things, and one is to create thirst. When was the last time you were with your peers and gave them a thirst for knowing God better? It is easy to talk about the things and people we don't like. James tells us to keep a tight reign on our tongue because it is the hardest part of our body to control (James 3:3–6). We need to work at speaking life rather than speaking death. When you discipline your mind and tongue, you will find a new love for God and life.

Sometimes a pastor's wife can become discouraged with the difficulties of ministry. This may prevent her from ministering to others and bringing hope to their lives. During times of discouragement, a pastor's wife may need to confide in her husband or another pastor's wife to help her overcome her discouragement.

It is also important not to gossip and complain about life and ministry, especially in front of your children. This may destroy your child's perspective about ministry and the church. Let your children know that serving the Lord and His church is the greatest honor we can have. My husband and I point out to our girls how ministry is a blessing. Life is what you make of it. By having a good mindset, you will implement that into the spirit of your home.

THE MIND OF THE PASTOR'S WIFE

Our Choice

When I was little, someone told me, "You can choose to be bitter or better." This quote has stuck with me over the years, especially when people whom I have poured my life into have said unkind things about me. At that point I had a choice: to feel sorry for myself or keep going on. Because of past hurts, we sometimes keep from getting too close to people for fear of being hurt again. But how can we afford not to be close to people when God has chosen us to disciple and train them for His kingdom?

When small children fall down, we tell them to get back up and try again. But some wounded pastors' wives do not get back up for fear of being hurt again. Our God can take care of all our hurt and pain. If we make mistakes and fall, He will help us get up and minister again.

Our Bibles

We need to read the Word and discover that God has chosen us to be salt and light in a world that desperately needs Jesus Christ. We will never be able to share the wonderful works of God with anyone until we read our Bible each day and obey it. James said, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (James 1:22, NIV). We cannot have spiritual power without reading and meditating on the Word of God.

The Word of God is our weapon against the enemy. It is also our shield of faith. We can be strong in the Lord, but this does not happen within ourselves, it happens as we stay close to Jesus and learn more about His ways for our lives.

THE HAND OF THE PASTOR'S WIFE

OurFamily

When our two daughters came into our home, we had to adjust our lives. How was I going to be involved with ministry and raise my family?

I decided that if Troy was called to ministry and I was called to ministry, Kaylee and Chelsey would have some incredible opportunities many students would never experience.

When they were born, I made a commitment to the Lord that they would grow up knowing that Mom and Dad weren't too busy to spend time with them. Children grow up fast, and I never wanted to look back with regret. We can't bring back time, but we can remember the times we have created together as a family. God intended for every family to be strong and healthy.

Does that mean we will never face hardships? Raising children can be hard work. The Bible clearly tells us that when we walk through the waters and through the flames, He will go with us and we won't be burned or we won't drown. We serve a mighty God who has our best interest in mind. When I come through the challenges, I have learned lessons that will help me in the future.

We can offer much to the people to whom we minister. We can let them know they have someone with them who cares and understands what they are going through. This may be the determining factor in how they respond to their situation. Hugging a hurting woman will tell her she does not have to go through divorce by herself. Remember, you are God's hand extended to others. They will have a greater picture of His love through your loving involvement in their lives.

Our Gifts

I have said many times: "I wish I could sing like her" or "I could never speak like her." You don't have to. Each of us has important gifts in the body of Christ. God made the Body to function together as one unit. We all have a part in the big picture. If you haven't determined what your role is, begin by doing something you enjoy. Perhaps you want to encourage ladies in your church. Purchase some cards and write notes of encouragement to those whom God has laid on your heart. Perhaps you have a gift that nobody else has. Dream big. The sky is the limit.

Jana Jones is a pastor's wife and lives in Renton, Washington.

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